Sept. 25, 2009

When allís said and done, a phone is just a phone, after all.
†† The shine has worn off of my fancy-dancy new cell phone. After weeks of pressing icons and playing on the Internet, checking my e-mail and all the other gosh-wow wizardry wonders in my hands, it now rests on my hip unnoticed.
†† Oh sure, itís nice. One day we were having a debate at breakfast over when CNN went on the air. I donít know why, we just were. I looked it up on the Internet on my glitzy phone and felt really smug about it.
†† Another time, a buddy was talking about a certain place in the basin and I was able to get onto Google Maps and find an aerial shot of the exact place. Kinda nifty.
†† But in the end, itís just a phone after all.
†† My better half showed me how to load music on it, and she did this by sending me a song of my choice off her phone via Bluetooth, which Iíve learned is nothing more than a silly name for phone-to-phone communication.
†† So she sent me ďHazy Shade of WinterĒ by the Bangles. Yes, I said the Bangles. I love that song, it truly rocks, and the Bangles is my all-time favorite girl band, even displacing Heart by just a smidgen. So far, itís the only song on my phone.
†† Did you know the Beatles sold 2.25 million albums since Sept. 9? I kid you not. At one point the last time I looked, five of the Top 10 and nine of the Top 20 bestselling albums in the nation belonged to the Beatles.
†† Most prominent is that new collection of remastered albums, all of Ďem. Itís expensive, to be sure, at about $200.
†† ďCan I download the whole thing to my phone?Ē I wondered. All of them? Probably not. Maybe just Harrisonís songs? Okay, okay, Iím getting a little silly about it. But itíd be cool.
†† I also learned that my phone was not free. They charged me an $18 upgrade fee, in the fine print. You see why us Indians hate signing things? Thereís always something in the fine print, an upgrade fee, a clause, the Black Hills, something.
†† But itís an enjoyable phone, and I donít regret it, even if I donít use all the features that sold me on it much anymore now that the shine was worn off. Itís convenient, yes, but essential? No.
†† Anyway.
†† I was watching the news pretty closely about these ACORN videos and I gotta say, how those two pulled it off I canít imagine. I mean, Hannah Giles might have been dressed appropriately as a prostitute, but that little guy James OíKeefe came off like a cartoon character pimp. Put Tobey Maguire in the same outfit and youíd get the same look. Whoíd believe this guy was a pimp? Iíve never seen a real pimp in my life, and Iíd have laughed my tail off at him.
†† I think Jon Stewart hit the nail on the head when he demanded to know why CNN and MSNBC and so forth didnít get on this story. ďIím a fake journalist and Iím embarrassed!Ē Stewart declared. That was too funny.
†† I also read that the ice sheets are melting faster than any other time in recorded history. I was pretty upset about this, being a sort of moderate-environmentalist. Then I learned that NASA measured the melting of the glaciers by firing more than 50 million lasers from orbit. Well, duh? Of course theyíre melting!
†† But theeriuthly, folkthÖ
†† As you can see, I donít have a whole lot to talk about today. Iím kinda whupped, and in need of some time off.
†† My new knife did come in, if you wondered at all about it after reading my column ďThe Good KnifeĒ a few weeks ago. I settled on a Boker, and am not disappointed. Itís got a stacked-leather handle, measures about eight inches with a nearly four-inch blade. Came with a fair edge right out the box, which I touched up and it will slice a piece of letter paper easily. I opted for a more gracile model than I originally planned: Itís a slimmer blade, perfect for carrying fishing, in a boat or wading.
†† Someone asked me why I felt it necessary to carry a fixed-blade knife while fishing. Once when I was a kid I was swimming in Bayou Teche and my foot got tangled in an old trot line. I managed to pull the line up to the bank with me and get it off, and was extraordinarily lucky none of the rusty hooks caught my flesh. Put the fear of God in me, though, I can tell you. Since then, I carry a knife when Iím fishing, boating or wading. I donít want a pocket knife because I donít want to fumble around with opening it. Plus, there are numerous needs for a good fishing knife that are far less life-threatening, but genuine.
†† Yíall have a great weekend, hear?